


Allowing Doubts

by completelyhopeless



Series: Detective Grayson and Forensic Batgirl [11]
Category: DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Case Fic, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-14
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:16:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barbara is forced to change her plans after their witness' last revelation, and Dick gets some unpleasant news when he wakes up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Allowing Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> I felt like I needed to write an update for this sooner rather than later. It doesn't really answer that pesky question, but I knew I needed to do something. Here is that something.
> 
> And I suppose I shall add this warning: I made myself cry writing part of the scene with Dick and Babs.

* * *

_“I know you can do this,” the man said in Dick's ear, hand on his wrist, holding his arm out so that he had to keep it straight. “Just show me you can do it again, and I'll give you your reward, Robin.”_

_“That isn't my name, and the only thing I want from you is for you to let me go.”_

_“You know why I can't do that. You're too special. I need you.”_

_Dick shook his head. He knew he wasn't needed, and he knew what the man wanted him for was bad, and all he wanted was to get out of here, but he didn't know how. He didn't think he'd ever see the world outside his cage again, and every time he thought that, he just wanted to die like his parents._

_They were at peace now. That's what someone had told him before, back when one of the clowns had died and they had a funeral for him outside the circus. If his parents were at peace, things there couldn't be that bad, and he wanted to be there, not here. Anywhere but here._

_“Take the knife, kid.”_

_Dick looked at it, swallowing, trying to decide if he could use it to kill the man and free himself._

* * *

“We shouldn't do this.”

“We wouldn't _have_ to do this if you hadn't tried to kill him. Again,” Barbara said, pushing open her father's door without looking back at Jason. She didn't know that she was as angry with him as she might have been in other circumstances. The boy's accusation still ate at her, and she hated herself for doubting Dick even for a moment, but she knew there was room for doubt. Those missing memories, the things that he couldn't face, they allowed space for doubt, and it didn't take much once doubt got started.

“I should have. He's wrong,” Jason said coldly. “He's just doing it to screw with Dick—”

In spite of herself, Barbara laughed, and Jason stared at her until he realized what he'd said. He muttered to himself as he dropped the boy on the couch, looking around for something to keep him there.

“Barbara?”

“Dad,” she said, going into the kitchen. “I hate to add to your guard duty, but I need you to take in someone else and—”

“You get Maroni?”

She stopped, leaning against the doorway. She'd thought things were bad when she had no option other than bringing the boy to her father. Now they were worse. “Bruce. I thought you were watching over Alfred and Tim.”

“I got them to a safe place and Alfred insisted I come back for Dick,” Bruce answered. She looked at her father, trying to decide if he believed that any more than she did. “Alfred's more capable of taking care of himself than people think. He'll be fine. He just needed to be removed from the situation.”

“Right.”

“You going to tell me Dick doesn't need help?”

“I can tell you he doesn't want it from you,” Jason said. “No one does.”

Bruce didn't react to the angry words, not even with a flinch. “I thought you might be back.”

Jason shrugged. He ignored Bruce and looked at Barbara. “Soon as that kid wakes, he'll be out of here. There's not enough rope to tie him down, and I left the chains in my other coat.”

“You have another kid?” Her father asked, frowning with disappointment. “You didn't mention that before, Barbara.”

“I told you I had more leads,” she said. “The boy is just one of them, though he's very uncooperative. Dick was able to get him to talk for a little while before he passed out, but I'm not sure I want to try that again, even if it was working.”

“That kid isn't going anywhere _near_ Dick again,” Jason said, and she saw both her father and Bruce frown. “I'll kill him if he does. He is not going to spread that lie.”

“What lie?”

Barbara let out a breath. “Apparently Maroni told the boy out there that Dick was the one that killed his parents, not him.”

“Could explain why he never could put together what happened that night,” Bruce said quietly, and she could see the wheels turning in her father's head as well.

Jason snorted. “You all are so quick to jump on the bandwagon and say we're all killers. I know I am, but what the hell is wrong with you? This is _Dick,_ damn it. He's still good in spite of everything you did to him, in spite of what _I_ did—he still believes there's good in _both_ of us. He's not a killer. I don't care if he's a cop or what that little brat says. It's a lie, something Maroni wanted the kid to say to make Dick doubt himself and screw this whole case of his to hell. It's just another one of the bastard's sick mind games, and the fact that you are all falling for it—The hell with this. I'm going to go find Maroni and get the truth out of him.”

“Jason, don't,” Barbara said, reaching for him, but he pulled away.

“You go back to your lab, you dig up what you have to, but you prove it to them—Dick didn't do it. You know it as well as I do.”

“You believe in him,” Barbara said, trying one more time. “You know he wouldn't want you to kill anyone.”

Jason looked back at her. “I can see why he likes you, Red, but I don't play by your rules. I'll do what I have to. I'll get Maroni.”

She felt her father take her hand. “Let him go. He needs to see it through his way, and you can't stop him from what he's going to do. I can't believe I'm saying this, but he might be what we need to end this mess for good.”

“By killing Maroni?” Bruce asked. “That doesn't sound like you, Jim.”

“Things changed when I ended up in this chair, Bruce,” her father said, shaking his head. “We have to work with the resources we have, and you know how thin they are right now. We don't have a cop we can trust besides Dick. We have prisoners to guard and if that kid is one of those trained assassins, I won't be able to stop him. That's fact. He runs and I can't chase.”

“Dad—”

“I'm being practical. I know I have my limits.” Her father hit his chair in frustration. “I need some rockets on this thing. Maybe then I'd keep up with you. Look at you. You're exhausted, and while you've held it together so far, even you need rest.”

She nodded, smiling a little at the idea of rockets on her father's chair. “I know, but I need to start some tests at my lab first.”

Her father seemed ready to accept that, but Bruce wasn't. “Barbara—”

“I have evidence to process,” she said. “If you want to help, then you can take care of the kid. You can even try questioning him, but be careful—he's dangerous and he doesn't respond well to brute force. He tried to hurt me and Jason. He and Dick apparently fought, too, though Dick won that one. We have no way of knowing if anything he's told us is true, which is why I need to run those tests.”

Her father frowned. She shook her head, giving his hand a squeeze. “I'm fine. He only tried to hurt me. Jason was always there to pull him off and subdue him. We've been keeping him sedated, and like I said, he did answer some of Dick's questions. I'm going to go now.”

“You'll sleep after those tests of yours?”

“Yes, Dad. I promise.”

* * *

Dick sat up slowly, his mouth full of something that tasted like chalk, his stomach wanting to empty itself all over his shirt—except he didn't have a shirt left because his had been cut and torn and bloodied—and he didn't feel like covering himself in puke as well as the dried blood that had gotten out of the stitches. He looked around the room and frowned.

He was alone. This didn't seem right. The kid was still hurt, and he should have been lying on the other cot. Dick slid off his own cot, testing his footing this time. His cuts still stung and the bruises ached, but he was not so weak as to collapse this time. He was, however, never trusting Jason with any pills again.

He went over to the cabinet against the back wall. Alfred kept the donations for the shelter in here, and he didn't really know what he'd find, but he knew Alfred washed everything before putting it in here, so that was something, at least.

He started rummaging through the clothes, wondering when Alfred had gotten in so many things for women and kids. He didn't know that anything in here would fit him, and he wasn't even that big. He stopped, leaning against the cupboard to catch his breath.

“What are you doing up?”

“Decided going around half-naked might offend the natives,” Dick said, almost laughing. They really needed to end this so that Alfred could get back here. Too many people needed him and depended on the shelter. “What did I miss?”

“Kid said something that pissed Jason off and Jason almost killed him.”

“Oh, so nothing much,” Dick joked, smiling until he realized Babs wasn't smiling back. He frowned, watching her cross the room. He swallowed, cop instinct kicking him in the gut again. Something was wrong. “Babs?”

“I stopped by my lab,” she said, holding out a shirt to him, one he'd borrowed before. She shook her head. “For years and years, that smelled like my dad. Now it smells like you.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it.”

“You didn't,” she said, and he tensed, watching her, trying to interpret that without taking it way too far. It didn't help that Jason kept pushing the whole thing. She reached out, touching the scar on his chest, keeping her touch light like he was fragile, and Dick figured that he kind of was, busted up as he was. “Did Jason do this?”

“Yeah,” Dick admitted. “He was out of his head, going on blind instinct and his programming and he didn't want to, but he couldn't stop himself and—Babs, is he okay? What happened?”

“He argued with Bruce and took off to go find Maroni on his own.”

“Bruce is back?”

“Yes. I left the boy with him so I could get some lab work done.”

Dick supposed there were worse people that could be watching the boy, and he didn't like knowing that Jason was going after Maroni, but he knew it all could have been a lot worse. “Is it the tests, then? They told you something—”

“Come sit down.”

He shook his head. “No. When people want you to sit, it's never good, and I don't want to—”

“Dick, you need to sit,” she insisted. She moved her hands up to his face. “I think—I know we can't keep this from you and I know you need to know, and I won't delay it or let someone else tell you because if they did—it would hurt too much. I think it was intended to be a weapon, I actually hope it was, but you are in no state to be standing when you hear this. Please. Sit.”

He let her take his hand and lead him over to the cot. He sat down, twisting the shirt in his hands as she took the spot next to him. “What is it? Maroni tried to tell me I was the one that killed those girls, but I know it wasn't me. If you found evidence of that, it was faked. I didn't do that, and I know it.”

“It wasn't that.” She took off her glasses and put them in her pocket. “According to that boy, the reason Maroni chose you—”

“I don't have any memories of him being—”

“Was because you killed your parents.”

Dick stared at her. “No. I didn't. I couldn't—I don't remember what happened. I know I don't, but I didn't do that. I couldn't—Babs, no. I didn't. I was just a kid and I loved them more than anything and... My whole world ended when they died—why would I kill them? I didn't. Couldn't.”

“Jason is convinced Maroni just said that so that he could put doubts in your head and hurt you.”

Dick gagged. “It's something he would do, but I don't... He couldn't be right about it. I didn't. I can't remember how they died, just after it, and that's spotty, but it... It couldn't have been me. Could it? I didn't... Babs, please. Tell me I didn't. I didn't do this. I couldn't have...”

She touched his cheek first, and then he was aware he must have started crying because it was wet, and then she eased him against her, holding onto him carefully as he shuddered.

“I think unless we can prove someone else did, you'll keep doubting,” she said. “I wasn't going to tell you, but I didn't want Maroni or the kid blindsiding you with it, either.”

He nodded. “I think... Better that you told me. Yeah. Needed to know.”

She combed back his hair. “I don't know about that. I don't know anything except I want it to be Maroni's lie and I want to prove it. I don't ever want you to doubt yourself.”

He almost laughed. “That will happen a lot anyway, even if I didn't kill my parents. I... Oh, hell. I don't know how to do this. I can't—I didn't—but I could have because I don't remember and I have always had something blocking me from that and maybe it's because I couldn't admit that I did it—”

“No. This is just Maroni. It's a lie meant to hurt you, and it is. I shouldn't have told you.”

He pushed himself up to look at her, ignoring the pain and trying to clear his vision so he could really see her. “Do you believe I did it? It _is_ possible, and without my memories—”

She put a finger to his lips. “I don't. I considered it when he first said it, but the more I think about it, the less I think it's even a possibility. That's not who you are, Dick, and I can't imagine you were some kind of monster as a child.”

“If it was an accident, it could have been me—”

“No. It wasn't.”

“I wish I believed that,” he said, needing to lie down again. He would almost rather be unconscious now, but he didn't know that it would be any kind of relief from this. Maybe now he'd have nightmares about actually killing his parents. He didn't ever want to see that.

“Jason believes in you,” Babs said, cupping his cheek again. “And so do I.”

Dick tried to smile at her, but he couldn't quite manage it. He wanted to believe her, but he didn't believe himself. 

Maroni had won.


End file.
